Tough times befall us all. What I thought would be a productive summer sabbatical of writing and relaxation has been overshadowed by my mother’s healthcare concerns.
As some of you know, I work full-time as an educator. In January, my wife, Belle, told me she observed troubling changes in my mom and sensed we were about to enter a challenging season with her. She was right. At nearly 90, Mom relies on a walker, and her gait is unsteady and glacial. Moreover, her short-term memory has become inconsistent. A retired teacher, she is often lucid, conversational, and insightful, but at other times she is confused and repeats the same question every few minutes. For the last several years, she’s had a paid companion prepare meals, perform light housekeeping, and assist her four hours a day, Monday through Friday.
This past spring, a concerned close friend of my mother’s who’d visited with her for several days called to inform me that my mom could no longer manage her taxes or her affairs. So, Belle and I took over her finances and tax preparation, drove her to doctor visits, and began looking at alternative living arrangements for her. Then early this summer, following a series of panicked calls and three emergency room visits for chest pains and other issues, Mom spent three weeks in a rehab facility.
Belle, my brothers, a sister-in-law, and I took turns visiting her. Questions, like mantras, burst forth in the morning, afternoon, and night on an endless loop. “Tell me, how did I get here?” “Can you drive me home?” “Why am I here?” We wrote our explanations in a book labeled “Read Me,” and on an erasable board in her room at the rehab center. Still the questions persisted. It was exhausting for all of us.
In keeping with her discharge orders for 24/7 assistance during her first week home, we hired an additional overnight assistant, extended the hours of her regular morning companion to 12-hour shifts, with my brothers and me filling in the gaps when they couldn’t cover. The total cost for one week was over $4,200! Thankfully, we were allowed to pare back her assistance to four hours a day in the following week. Unfortunately, this was short-lived. We tried, but misplaced medications and her physical frailty became a concern when left unattended. It soon became abundantly clear to her primary doctor, attending nurse, and us that she could no longer live alone without assistance. A follow-up medical visit confirmed it: In a calm, compassionate tone, her doctor explained her high risk of falling when left unattended could result in a brain bleed or broken hip. Sitting on an examining table, she wept, and to my surprise, her doctor — a slender bespecled doctor in his 50s — bent forward and embraced her. Twice.
After examining various options, we decided to move her into the assisted living center where Belle works. We showed her the facilities and her room. We ate in the cafeteria and met residents and staff. She seemed fine with it and began planning her room’s layout, but now she’s fighting us. Apparently, that’s a common experience for people in similar situations. However, knowing that doesn’t make it any easier.
I have friends who’ve had similar situations with their parents, and I have an acquaintance whose wife has life-threatening cancer. We have friends supporting and praying for us (a good Catholic friend and brother sent me this encouraging message on praying through the tough times). It’s not easy, but you pray, draw from a helpful community, do your best, and savor the beautiful moments when you can.
Music Direct’s Bes Nerva, Jr. talks with guests while emceeing a listening event featuring several Mobile Fidelity Sound Labs UltraDisc vinyl albums at Parachute HiFi in Chicago, Illinois on July 30, 2026.
A Little Musical Reprieve
My mother’s woes and Wifi streaming issues aside, I’ve enjoyed working on some reviews and listening to high-quality music with others. One of the highlights was attending an event hosted by Mobile Fidelity Sound Labs on July 30, 2026, at Parachute HiFi (you can find them at @parachutechicago on Instagram) in Chicago, celebrating their release of Chris Isaak’s Heart Shaped World and Donald Fagen’s Kamakiriad. Music Direct’s Bes Nierva, Jr. performed host and DJ duties with aplomb. I met my co-writer, Mark Massura, and his wife, Amy, at their house in Chicago, and we rode down together in their self-driving car (you can see them in the circular cutaway in the wall at far right in the video). The ambiance, food, and music were wonderful!
Lone Mountain Audio’s Leland Leard pauses while setting up the ATC SCM50A loudspeakers in my listening room.
Belle and I have also been enjoying a pair of ATC SCM50A active loudspeakers that are in for review. I met with Leland Leard of Lone Mountain Audio, the ATC Loudspeakers’ U.S. distributors, when he demoed them at the Chicago Audio Society on Sunday, July 26th. The SCM50s sounded great and were well-received. Afterwards, we loaded them in a rented van, grabbed dinner, and drove them back to my house, where Leland set them up in my listening room. I figured that I’d listen to them, write my review, and ship them back. I didn’t count on falling in love with them. Belle especially surprised me! At our house, we use my stereo setup for both music and HD TV. To my surprise, everything sounded significantly better. I had been told that the SCM50s could be unforgiving, and I anticipated TV viewing as being extremely fatiguing and etched-sounding. However, it was quite the opposite. Tone, timbre, and detail for dialog, music, and overall auditory presentation were noticeably improved and more fleshed out. I was also surprised at how much Belle wanted to sit and listen to music — be it digital or vinyl. It was uncanny. Music never sounded so good in our household. So, now, I am listing some gear for sale to purchase the review pair of ATC SCM50s. Go figure.
Epilogue
Summer is winding down, and the conflict hasn’t abated. I am suffering tension headaches. Mom continues to struggle, which is very difficult for her and us. This is the woman who raised me. Through the years, she’s given me great advice, including this gem: When I was dating Belle in 2010, old female friends and acquaintances began calling me on my cell phone, which greatly upset Belle. Was I a player like her ex, she wondered. I mentioned this to my mom, who suggested that I change my phone number. I did so promptly, the phone calls stopped, and we just celebrated our fifteenth wedding anniversary last month. Had I not changed my phone number, Belle often reminds me that we probably wouldn’t be married. Thanks, Mom!
So many times she’s been my tower of strength. And now she needs me — she needs us — to be strong for her. And that, we will be — with the good Lord’s help.